Fishing Q&A

How much should I spend on beginning fly fishing equipment? I'm a 17 year old girl and I want to learn how to fly fish. How much should I spend on equipment (a pole, string, leads, flies, etc.) Would it be better to buy one of those inexpensive, complete kits that come with everything needed to start?

Does anyone here do custom machining work making fly fishing equipment at a reasonable price? I'd like to get some reel seats made, but REC wants so much for a minimum order. Does anyone reading this have a CNC or something to do precision work. I'd be interested in swapping drawings or whatever. Discuss and/or email this if you want.

Fly Fishing guide in CA? I'm new to fly-fishing, trying to find a good spot in CA. Also ratings and advice for websites, Blogs, books, and DVD’s on how to fly fish and equipment, especially what fly patterns and rivers are best. In-addition what is the hatch for all rivers in California? Plus recommendations and reviews on tweekend getaway in Central California for trout fishing rivers, like Guides, Bait stores, campsites, cabins and motels around Yosemite and Kern River. Most important; whitch, river, spot, when and on what flies will be hatching this month?

Where is the good place to Fly fishing in CA in August? I'm new to fly-fishing, trying to find a good spot in CA. Also ratings and advice for websites, Blogs, books, and DVD’s on how to fly fish and equipment, especially what fly patterns and rivers are best. In-addition what is the hatch for all rivers in California? Plus recommendations and reviews on tweekend getaway in Central California for trout fishing rivers, like Guides, Bait stores, campsites, cabins and motels around Yosemite and Kern River. Most important; whitch, river, spot, when and on what flies will be hatching this month?

A couple Fly Fishing questions.? What type of tippet and fly's should I use for species in saltwater and/or freshwater in the Clearwater-Dunedin area. And if you know of any good places to buy most of my fly equipment. As you can tell I am new at fly fishing. I am getting all the info I can from smart(er) people like you experienced fly fishing people. Thanks so much! And have a great day/evening/night. -Fishingidiot- Pretty much I would like to know what to use to catch the species. (In the area I told you) (the tippets, fly colors, etc,) You could also email me with extra answers. Like extra tips. (not related to the Q or related) Cause like I said I am trying to get as much info as I can. Thanks so much! -Fishingidiot- Fishing4idiots@gmail.com

Does anybody know about fly fishing? Fly fishing is one of the popular sports in some countries, but i never saw anyone use the fishing fly in China. Do you know where to buy the fishing equipments? i found a website: http://www.versacorp.cn/ Could anybody explain more to me?

Fly shop in Tarpon Springs, Florida...Fishermens World.....Q? 2 questions about the fly shop fishermen's World, in Tarpon Springs.. (1500 Us Highway 19 Tarpon Springs, FL) 1. Does this place have a website..? And if they do what is it? 2. Is it a nice place in there? Are they well stocked on flies and other fly fishing equipment (Fly tying kits, leaders, ETC.) And I am getting a lesson with one of the guy's on Saturday. Do they give good lessons..? I am just curious.... Thanks for your answers! Have a great holiday and a great new year! -Fishingidiot- @Stop_makin_cents thank for that tip. I will have to do that. Yeah I just wanted to get my fly casting better. -fishingidiot-

Fly Fishing Waterway Access Points in Unfamiliar and Remote Areas...? For anyone who has gone fly fishing in the amazing Rocky Mountains knows how frustrating it can be to FIND a place to get into the water from the roads. I am working on Access Point (AP) maps for popular waterways beginning in the North Idaho region. I will also be accepting clients whom have needs/requests about specific stretches of water and will build him/her detailed and individual packages. General packages may include: Marked AP’s, AP’s span, difficulty traversing AP, FISHABLE stretch of water reached by AP, any equipment needed or vehicles able to negotiate AP (ATV, 4x4, etc.), F&G regs, water speed, popularity and parking options for AP. Client requested packages could also include GPS coordinates for waypoints, camping areas, entomology/flies used, water depth, foliage, pics of AP and any other special requests. My question is: If this service and info was available for your use; would it be worth paying for and how valuable would you consider it being? I asked this late last night, but wanted to submit in a higher traffic time. I will work on keeping my public relations with the local F&G Dept and the Outfitters. Since I am an infosource I will not outfit clients with gear, rides, licenses and will not escort or guide any client. It will be strictly an information service.

Fly Fishing Waterway Access Points in Unfamiliar and Remote Areas...? For anyone who has gone fly fishing in the amazing Rocky Mountains knows how frustrating it can be to FIND a place to get into the water from the roads. I am working on Access Point (AP) maps for popular waterways beginning in the North Idaho region. I will also be accepting clients whom have needs/requests about specific stretches of water and will build him/her detailed and individual packages. General packages may include: Marked AP’s, AP’s span, difficulty traversing AP, FISHABLE stretch of water reached by AP, any equipment needed or vehicles able to negotiate AP (ATV, 4x4, etc.), F&G regs, water speed, popularity and parking options for AP. Client requested packages could also include GPS coordinates for waypoints, camping areas, entomology/flies used, water depth, foliage, pics of AP and any other special requests. My question is: If this service and info was available for your use; would it be worth paying for and how valuable would you consider it being?

iv'e been invited to go fly fishing,but never done it before? do i need a permit to catch flies? what sort of equipment will i need? how many flies do i need to start a circus?

Just got a Renzetti traveler vise. Any help getting started or suggestions on supplies or equipment? I'm not new to fly fishing. Just need help getting started on tying flies. I fish for Rainbows, Browns, and Brookies in Northeast TN. Thanks for any help or suggestions.

I am a woman who is very interested in learning how to fly fish.? Can you tell me what equipment I'll need to get started, and make some recommendations? Ladies, I would really love to hear what works best for you.

would u rather fly or be able to explore the ocean unaided? you know, no equipment or anything. just swim with the fishes. or be able to fly?

Why NASA (or any other) dont consider using mother ship? As we know (most I hope) Universe is a specific enviroment... When I think about space shuttle using rockets then I think - *Fish in the air or bird in the water... and its not even flying fish or pinguin*... Fully adapted to fly in space mother ship would cut costs of transporting (if using centrifugal or other kind of propulusion)... Part of taking off from planet would be turned just to sending cargo and equipment in smaller and less weighing shuttles... The only one problem is that it takes huge effort at beggining to build such thing (piece by piece like orbital station)... but after making it we will have like in life - costs will be turned back.... I am just asking what they are doing in their *secret* work... Lets say... I am a bit... hungry for effects... Thanks for any info from the start...

Joke >>>>> Mike have you forgotten something? Mike phones home from his office and says to his wife, "I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. I have to leave right away. Pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pyjamas. I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." Mike rushes home to grab everything. He hugs his wife, apologises for the short notice and then hurries off. A week later, Mike returns and his wife asks, "Did you have a good trip, dear?" ... Mike replies, "Yep, the fishing was great...but you forgot to pack my blue silk pyjamas." His wife smiles and says, "Oh, no I didn't...I put them in your tackle box!" (No flies on HER!) P.I.M.P....he didn't go fishin' - think about it - why would he want silk pj's :)

LMAO! Isn't this LIVE EARTH thing flopping like a flipping fish that is flapping just before death? Man, what a freaking joke. The corporations can't lose money on it but they probably won't profit from any residuals other than the jokes we will be making. Its so funny, none of them are DOING anything. They are having a series of concerts(electricity=fuel) where the musicians are flown in on private jets(lots of fuel), and all the equipment was flown in(lots more fuel), and 2 billion people are using electricity to watch it on the internet(electricity=fuel). What I see is a bunch of idealistic dreamers that are really not doing anything but having a big party and calling it "good for the Earth" and "green". I don't see anything green about it. I figure about 2 days after this, Gore will be doing some kind of damage control. Let me say that I have no problem at all with concerts. I have seen BTO, Judas Priest, ZZTop, The Who and many others. I do have a problem with promoting a rock concert series as "green". There is nothing at all green about this concert and I'll bet you that few of the people on the planet that didn't know about it will become "aware" as a result of this corporate driven venue. No offense intended except to the people responsible.

blondes are smart!? Q: Did you hear about the blonde who attempted to drive to EuroDisney? A: She saw a sign saying: "EuroDisney Left" so she went home. Did you hear about the blonde who put under Education on her job application, 'Hooked On Phonics'... Q: What did the blonde girl name her pet Zebra? A: Spot. Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? A: From crawling across the street when the pedestrian sign said "DON'T WALK". Q: What does a blonde Owl say? A: What, what? Q: What do you see when you look directly into a blonde's eyes? A: The back of her head. Q: What did the Dumb Blonde do when she went to a film that had an NC-17 (no under 17's) rating? A: Went home and got 16 friends. Q: What do you call a blond behind a steering wheel? A: An air bag. Q: How do you tell if a blonde writes Mysteries? A: She's got a checkbook. Q: How can you tell a FAX has been sent from a blonde? A: There's a stamp on it. Play Crazy Pranks & Hilarious Gags on your dumb blonde friends (or anyone else for that matter) :-) Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: Threw it off a cliff. Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs? A: Keep breakin em' with hammers. Q: What's the difference between blondes and McDonald's? A: A blonde serves more people in a night. Q: What happens when a blonde developes Alzheimers? A: Her IQ goes up. Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes? A: Peroxide. Q: What's the guaranteed method to totally confuse a Blonde Man? A: Ask him to alphabetise a King-size bag of M&Ms. Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch? A: To turn the blinker off. Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head? A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it. Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blondes head? A: A Space Invader. Q: What's the difference between a dumb blonde and a supermarket trolley? A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? A: Manages to get the Pop Tarts out the toaster in one piece. Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A: A mental block. Q: How many stupid blondes does it take to make a circuit? A: Two - one to stand inside the bath, the other to pass the hair dryer. Q: What's the diff between a blonde and a computer? A: You only have to punch information into a computer once. Q: Did you hear about the dumb blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter". Q: What's a dumb Blondes favorite rock group? A: Air Supply. Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch a cold? A: No need for em to worry about blowing their brains out Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up. Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on top of her. Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? A: Last year's hide and seek champion. Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat? A: In case she locks the keys in her car. Q: What does a postcard from a blonde's vacation say? A: Having a fantastic time. Where am I? Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A: Present her with a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say "Hello" Q: Why are blonde's immune to Mad Cow Disease? A: It only affects the brain. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a natural blonde? A: Blow in her ear - if natural, watch as she floats... Q: What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials? A: Double-dumb. Q: Where do you look for blonde's obituaries? A: Under "Home Improvements." Q: Why did the blonde go to the rehab center? A: Because she thought she was hooked on phonics. Q: What is foreplay for a blonde? A: 30 mins of begging. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board? A: It's quite difficult opening the legs of an Ironing Board. Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground? A: An air mattress. Q: What would you do if a Blond threw a hand grenade right at you? A: You'd pull the pin and throw it back. Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth. Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS? A: Lipstick. Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Mercedes? A: You don't lend the Merc out to your friend. Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common? A: Sooner or later they'll both end up in the gutter. Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A: She didn't want to waken the sleeping pills. Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag? A: One. Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? A: So brunettes can remember them. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance? A: 144 blondes. Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings? A: Tell them a joke on Friday night. Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree. Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? A: Wave to her. Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads? A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) Well...Like, I dunno! Q: What's the difference between a smart blonde and the Yeti? A: Yeti has been spotted. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's. Q: What did they name the offspring of a blonde and a Puerto Rican? A: Retardo. Q: How does a blonde commit suicide? A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off. Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? A: It swells at night. Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You don't. They're born that way. Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday. It's with great sadness that I tell you my blonde girlfriend burned her nose last night....she was bobbing for french fries... 1. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster? A: A Rooster says in the Morning - "Cockll-doodlle-doooooo", while a blonde shouts, "Any-****'ll-doooo." 2. Q: What is the best secretary in the world to have? A: The one that never misses a period. 3. Q: What do blondes say after sex? A: "Thanks, guys!". 4.Q: What's the difference between a blonde and The Titanic? A: They know how many men went down on The Titanic. 5. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Atlantic Coast? A: There's fewer crabs in the Atlantic. 6. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York? A: The Duke only 'had' Ten Thousand men. 7. Q: How does a horny guy spell relief? A: B-L-O-N-D-E. 9. Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? A: Because she got an F in sex. 10. Q: What do a Boeing 747 and a blonde have in common? A: Both contain a cockpit 12. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a blow-up Doll? A: Around 2 cans of hair spray. 13. Q: Why is a blonde like a stamp? A: Both get licked, then stuck, and finally sent on their way. 14. Q: Why is a blonde like railway tracks? A: Cos she's been laid all over the country. 16. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been playing with your Computer? A: Your joy stick will be soaking wet. 17. Q: Why do saunas remind some people of blondes? A: Cos both are steamy and wet on entry, and hey, they don't mind if you bring friends. 18.Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car? A: She scorched her lips on the exhaust pipe. 19. Q: What's the difference between a Mosquito and a blonde? A: On slapping a Mosquito, it will stop sucking. 21. Q: How would a blond interpret 6.9? A: A 69 interrupted by a period. 23. Q: What's a blondes favorite Nursery Rhyme? A: HumpMe DumpMe. 25. Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob? A: Cuz everyone gets a turn. 28. Q: In a Blonde's mind what is long and hard? A: Grade 4. 29. Q: Why does a blonde have an IQ 1 point higher than a Coppers Horse? A: So she won't sh*t on the street during a rally. 33. Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A: Locking the car door. 34. Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde lesbian? A: Well, she kept having affairs with men. 35. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and most men? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count. 37. Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10? A: She picks up her purse and goes home. 38. Q: When visiting Scotland, what is a Blonde's favorite destination? A: Silicon Glen 39. Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a blonde? A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver. 40. Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: Because they can't get their head in the jar. 41. Q: What would a blonde use for protection during sex? A: A bus shelter. 43. Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons? A: From dating blonde men. 44. Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine? A: They both drip when they're fucked. 45. Q: Why did the blonde cross the road? A: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!? 46. Q: Why does a blond have T.G.I.F. on the front of her shirt? A: **** Go In Front. 47. Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend? A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead. 48. Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper? A: So she could lip read. 51. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? A: They've both swallowed a lot of seamen. 52. Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex? A: Their Mommies told em never to speak to strangers. 53. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde? A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week! 54. Q: What do a 250cc Scooter and a blonde have in common? A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one 55. Q: What's the difference between a blonde on her back and a turtle on it's back? A: Absolutely Nothing - both are totally screwed! 58. Q: How do you get a blonde off of her knees? A: Come. 60. Q: What do a blonde and an instant win lottery ticket have in common? A: Simply scratch the box to win. 61. Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? A: So her male would get delivered to the right box. 62. It's important to realise that Blondes can't go water-skiing - when their crotch gets wet they think they gotta lay down... 63. It's even more important to realise the big difference between blondes and bitches - a blonde will screw anyone, whilst a ***** will screw anyone but you... 64. It's worth remembering why blondes can't count to 70 - it's cos 69 is already a bit of a mouthful... 65. Q: Did you hear about the blonde with a PHd in Psychology? A: She'll blow your mind, too. 66. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limo? A: Well, not everybody's went to town in a limo! 67. Q: Have you heard about the blonde virgin? A: She hangs out with the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus 68. Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common? A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets. 69. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had 2 chances to get pregnant? A: She blew it both times. 70. Q: What did the blondes left leg say to her right? A: As if they've ever met! 71. Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS? A: A know-it-all *****. 72. Q: What do blonde's do after they comb their hair? A: They pull up their pants. 73. Q: What do blonde's do with their Assholes in the morning? A: Pack their lunch and send them to work. 74. Q: What's the link between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? A: Both get screwed on the front of a Ford Fiesta. 6. Q: What nickname is most used by blonde's in order to boost their popularity? A: B.J. 77. Q: What is blonde, brunette, blond, brunette ...? A: A blonde doing cartwheels. 78. Q: How do you know when a blonde's been in your refridgerator? A: There's lipstick on your cucumbers/courgette/zuchini. 79. Q: What's a 68 to a blonde? A: It's where she goes down on you and you owe her one. 80. Q: What's the white stuff you find in a blonde's panties? A: Clitty litter. 81. Q: Why is it that Blonde's always get confused in the Ladies rest room? A: Well, it's cost they gotta pull their own pants down... 82. Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? A: Because their balls would show. 83. Q: What do you call a blonde with an I.Q of 100? A: A foursome. 85. Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office? A: There's a fold-up bed in the Stock room and permanent smiles on the Bosses' faces. 86. Q: What is a bellybutton for? A: It gives a blonde a place to park her gum on the way down. 89. Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock. 90. Q: Why did the blonde guy put ice in his condom? A: To keep the swelling down. 91. Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank? A: Her employer found that she was embezzling. 92. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job? A: Your job still sucks after 6 months. 94. Q: What do you call a blonde with pigtails? A: A ******** with handlebars. 95. Q: What did the blonde say during a xxx flick? A: "Hey fellas, Look! There I am!" 96. Q: How does a blond prepare for safe sex? A: She puts on rubber based lipstick. 98. Q: What does XXX stand for? A: Blondes co-signing a note. 99. Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Finland, turn around and come back home? A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a tv set. 100. Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a bowling ball? A: You can only get three of your fingers inside a bowling ball. 101. Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips. She was so blonde that... She thought a quarterback was a refund. She managed to trip over my cordless phone. On the bottom of the job application where it said 'Sign Here' she wrote 'Aquarias'. She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. She told me to meet her on the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk". She tried to place a bag of M&M's in alphabetical order. She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. She took a ruler to bed so she could see how long she slept. When she got an AM radio, it took her 10 month to figure out she could use it at night. She spent 25 minutes staring at the Orange juice box cos it said - "concentrate" She got stabbed in a Shoot out. She used to sit on the tv so she could watch the couch When she heard that 90% of all crimes were around the home, she moved. She thinks Eartha Kitt is a set of gardening tools. When she saw the sign for YMCA she said: "LOOK, they've spelled MACY's wrong!!!" She stood staring at the frozen orange juice because it said "Concentrate". She put lippie on her forehead cos her boyfriend told her to make up her mind. She tried to drown a fish. If you offered her a Penny for her thoughts, you'd get change. She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death. She took a Spoon to the Super Bowl. It takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes. She asked for a Price-check at the 'Everythings a Pound' store. They had to burn her school down to get her outta 4th grade. She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center. When I was drowning in a lake and screaming out for a life saver she asked: "Grape or Cherry?" She thought Meow Mix was a record for Cats. She thought that Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company. She tried to drown a fish. Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 2. 1 to hold the Diet Irn-Bru and the other to call on 'Daddddyyy' Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change. Q: What did the blonde do when she heard on the news that over 90% of accidents occur at the home? A: She moved. Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of Sixty? A: A blonde parade. Q: Why did the blonde call the job centre? A: She wanted to find out how to cook food stamps. Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in 6 or 12 pieces. A: "Oh, only Six I think - I'd never manage to eat all 12 pieces." Q: What do you call a Smart blonde? A: A Golden Retriever. Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? A: Perri-Air. Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Cos sheep can't bring beer from the fridge. Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? A: Both are completely empty from the neck up. Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? A: To see what was on the other side. Q: Why are blondes hurt by people's words? A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries. Q: How do you drive a blonde Insane? A: Hide her Hair Dryer. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: alone. Q: How do you know a blonde has robbed your house? A: You notice the microwave is gone, but a note is there in it's place saying: "Thanks for the TV" Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.) Q: How do you get a blonde to stay in the shower all day? A: Lend her your bottle of Shampoo that says "lather, rinse, repeat". Q: What do you call a blonde on a University Campus? A: A visitor. A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet." So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money." The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!" --------------------------------------... This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and detects the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies, "Yes." He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has on a ski jacket and a fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, "For best results, put on two coats." --------------------------------------... Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them. --------------------------------------... Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The blond with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down." --------------------------------------... How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Scroll Down. ---> <----- Scroll Up. --------------------------------------... A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I'm really a blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken." --------------------------------------... As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the copilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. "Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep." From the cabin, a blonde passenger was heard to exclaim, "Wow! It just missed the highway!" --------------------------------------... I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...and I also know that I'm not blonde. - Dolly Parton --------------------------------------... A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders she would need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari." --------------------------------------... Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses." "We don't have any," replied the first blonde. "Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses," said the Game Warden. "But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river." The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden. "Take all the debris you want." And with that, he left. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two. "Doesn't he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?" --------------------------------------... A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "we'll put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box." --------------------------------------... ICE FISHING A blonde decided she needed something new and different for a winter hobby. She went to the bookstore and bought every book she could find on ice fishing. For weeks she read and studied, hoping to become an expert in the field. Finally she decided she knew enough and out she went for her first ice fishing trip. She carefully gathered up and packed all the tools and equipment needed for the excursion. Each piece of equipment had its own special place in her kit. When she got to the ice, she found a quiet little area, placed her padded stool and carefully laid out her tools. Just as she was about to make her first cut into the ice, a booming voice from the sky bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!!" Startled, the blonde grabbed up all her belongings, moved further along the ice, poured some hot chocolate from her thermos, and started to cut a new hole. Again the voice from above bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!!" Amazed, the blonde was not quite sure what to do as this certainly was not covered in any of her books. She packed up her gear and moved to the far side of the ice. Once there, she stopped for a few moments to regain her calm. Then she was extremely careful to set everything up perfectly--tools in the right place, chair positioned just so. Just as she was about to cut this new hole, the voice came again. "There are no fish under the ice!!" Petrified, the blonde looked skyward and asked, "Is that You, Lord?" The voice boomed back, "NO THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE SKATING RINK!" --------------------------------------... This one qualifies as a hilarious blonde joke! It is the best. A blonde was driving home after work and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to the repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car's tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. Her roommate rolled her eyes and said... "HEL-LOOOOOOOO ...You gotta roll up the windows!!! --------------------------------------... A group of blondes were willing to prove that not all blondes were dumb. They established a judges panel of people to ask the questions. On the day of the judging the people started off by asking, "What is 59 + 2?" The first blonde contestant responded by saying, "57?" The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" Then they asked, "What is 15 - 5?" The blonde responded, "20, right?" Once again the rest of the contestants screamed, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" The judges decided to go easier on her and asked, "What is 1 + 2?" "3?" said the blonde. The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" --------------------------------------... A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are running from the cops. They hide on a potato farm. They crawl into some potato bags. The first cop pokes the bag with the brunette in it. She says, "Meow." The cop confirms that it is just a cat. The second cop pokes the bag with the redhead in it. She says, "Woof." The cop says that it is just a dog. The third cop pokes the bag with the blonde in it. She say in her sweetest voice, "Potato." --------------------------------------... There is a brunette and a blonde hanging over the edge of a cliff off a piece of rope. They realize that the rope will break if one of them doesn't let go and they will both fall to their deaths. The brunette starts this big heartwarming speech about how she is going to sacrifice herself. At the end of the speech the blonde starts clapping. --------------------------------------... A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer," your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. You dont have to read all of them!

Blonde Jokes? Star if your laughed! Star if you laughed!

Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products? Liquid Plummer Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages. Windex Do not spray in eyes. Toilet Plunger Caution: Do not use near power lines. Dremel Electric Rotary Tool This product not intended for use as a dental drill. Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter Safe to use around pets. Bowl Fresh Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet. Endust Duster This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances. Baby Oil Keep out of reach of children Little Ones Baby Lotion Keep away from children Hair Coloring Do not use as an ice cream topping. Wet-Nap Directions: Tear open packet and use. Dial Soap Directions: Use like regular soap. Stridex Foaming Face Wash May contain foam. Hairdryer: Do not use while taking a shower. Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant Use only on underarms. Zantac 75 Do not take if allergic to zantac. Sleeping Pills Warning: May cause Drowsiness Christmas Lights Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only. Bic Lighter Ignite lighter away from face. Komatsu Floodlight This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark Fire Extinguisher: Caution: Non-Flamable Earplugs These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe Mattress Warning: Do not attempt to swallow Matches Caution: Contents may catch fire. Pepper Spray Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes. Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition. Fix-a-Flat WARNING: Do not weld can to rim. Rain Gauge Suitable for outdoor use. RCA Television Remote Control Not Dishwasher Safe Pine Mountain Fire Logs Caution: Risk of fire Triops Fish Food Warning: Not for human consumption Home Depot Treated Lumber Do not consume Hair Dryer Warning: Do not use while sleeping. Road Sign Caution water on road during rain. Camera This camera will only work when film is inside. Road Sign Cemetery Road. Dead End Church Parking Lot Sign Thou shalt not park Children's Superman Costume Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. Silk Soy Milk Shake well and buy often Air Conditioner Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows. Rowenta Iron Warning: Never iron clothes on the body. Slush Puppy Cup This ice may be cold American Airlines Peanuts Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. Nabisco Easy Cheese For best results, remove cap. Swanson TV Dinners This product must be cooked before eating. Hershey's Almond Bar Warning: May contain traces of nuts Heinz Ketchup Instructions: Put on food 500-piece puzzle: Some assembly required. Beach Ball CAUTION: It is not a life saving device. Chainsaw Do not attempt to stop chain with hands. Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. Bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. Bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. Hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head. Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. Packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. String of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children Helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists: Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you New Zealand insect spray: This product not tested on animals. Blanket from taiwan: not to be used as protection from a tornado Cardboard windshield sun shade: Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place. Infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water. Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges: Not meant as substitute for human companionship. Disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake. Bottle of shampoo for dogs Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish. Curling Iron Warning: This product can burn eyes. Hair Dryer Do not use in shower. Hair Dryer Do not use while sleeping. Hand-held Massaging Device Do not use while sleeping or unconscious. Case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket. Do not place this product into any electronic equipment. A toilet at a public sports facility Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking. Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover. Container of Underarm Deodorant. Caution: Do not spray in eyes. Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter. Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks. Toner cartridge for a laser printer Do not eat toner. 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow Not intended for highway use. Can of self-defense pepper spray. May irritate eyes. Novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock" Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth. A frisbee Warning: May contain small parts. A toilet bowl cleaning brush. Do not use orally. A birthday card for a 1 year old. Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less. Heated seat cushion Warning: Do not use on eyes. Microwave Oven: Do not use for drying pets. Electric Cattle Prod For use on animals only. Can of air freshener. For use by trained personnel only. Silly Putty Do not use as ear plugs. Knife sharpening stone Warning: knives are sharp! Deodorant Do not use intimately. Rat Poison Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice. Portable stroller Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage. Dashboard of a mail truck Look before driving. Children's cough medicine Do not drive car or operate machinery. Sign at a railroad station Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. Bottom of a supermarket dessert box Do not turn upside down. Package of dice. Not for human consumption. Bottled Drink: Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth. Shipment of hammers May be harmful if swallowed. Manual for an SGI computer. Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers. Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death. Electric Thermometer. Do not use orally after using rectally. Packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain. Turn off motor before using this product. 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame Not to be used as a personal flotation device. Box of bottle rockets Do not put in mouth. Wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack Remove plastic before eating. Box for a car jack For lifting purposes only. Instructions for a cordless phone: Do not put lit candles on phone. Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean Do not drive cars in ocean. Small print from a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert Always drive on roads. Not on people. Bus Stop No stopping or standing. Church Sign These rows reserved for parents with children. Bag of Fritos You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. Credit card statement. Payment is due by the due date. Laundromat triple washer No small children. Sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building Take care: new non-slip surface. Box of Pills Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone. Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11 Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat. Can of black pepper. Instructions: usage known. Bag of cat biscuits Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants. Car Manual In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors. Espresso Kettle The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position. T.V. manual Do not pour liquids into your television set. Label on a hammer Caution - Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object VCR box Instructional video on hooking up VCR included. Toilet brush Do not use for personal hygiene. Black rubber fishing worm Not for human consumption. Orange Juice Can: 100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate. Depend Adult Diapers Step into underwear and pull them on just like regular underwear. Furniture Wipes Do not use for a baby wipe. Stickers to put on the seat of a potty training toilet This is not a toy. Stickers require adult supervision. Lawnmower Warning: When Motor Is Running - The Blade Is Turning Instructions on the bottom of a grocery store pizza Do not turn upside down. Bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle Do not open here. Bottle of bathtub cleaner For best results, start with clean bathtub before use. Container of lighter fluid WARNING: Contents flammable! Box of household nails CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation! Microwave popcorn, packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it Direction #1: Remove plastic. Drink bottle label Do not peel label off. Woolite carpet cleaner Safe for carpets, too! Box of Frosted Cheerio's The logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here." Sterno Do not use near fire or flame. Container of salt Warning: High in sodium Hose Nozzle Do not spray into electrical outlet.

Rules of the South!? Rules of the South A friend just moved from Southern California to North Carolina and he e-mailed this. He said they gave it to him at the state line. If you are going to live or visit in the South, you need to know these rules: 1. That farm boy you see at the gas station did MORE work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym. 2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. Drive it or get out of the way. 3. The red dirt -- it's called clay. Red clay. If you like the color, don't wash your car for a couple weeks -- it'll be permanent. 4. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it. 5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for -- bait. 6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot. 7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards (ducks) are making their final approach, we will shoot it (the phone). You might want to ensure it's not up to your ear at the time. 8. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. 9. Tea - yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and is really, really sweet. You want it hot -- sit it in the sun. You want it unsweetened -- add a LOT of water. 10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. 11. So, you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have a quarter of a million-dollar combine (it's farm equipment) that we only use two weeks a year. 12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow. 13. We eat dinner together with our families. We pray before we eat (yeah, even breakfast). We go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays and we go to high school football games on Friday nights. We still address our seniors with "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am," and we sometimes still take Sunday drives around town to see friends and neighbors. 14. We don't do "hurry up" well. 15. Greens - yeah, we have greens, but you don't putt on them. You boil them with salty fatback, bacon or a ham hock. 16. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream (pronounced brim) and carp. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop. 17. They are pigs. That's what they smell like (money). Get it -- pig farms -- income -- money? Get over it. Don't like the smell? Interstate 85 goes two ways Interstate 40 goes the other two. Pick one. 18. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe even some pepper on them. If you want to put milk and sugar on them, then you want Cream of Wheat -- go to Kansas . That would be I-40 west. 19. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season or dove season. Both are holidays. You can get pancakes, cane syrup, and sausage before daylight at the church on either day. 20. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it's called being friendly. Understand the concept? 21. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish and bothers the gators...and if you hit it in the rough, we have these things called diamondbacks, and they're not baseball players. 22. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot...his name is "Sir," no matter how young he is. 23. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park your Navigator under them, and they'll leave a logo on your hood. 24. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our state legislature -- all four of them -- enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating up the flag burner. 25. No, we don't care how you do things up North. If it is so great up there, why not stay there? 26. And no, down here we don't have an accent, you do. In God We Trust. YA'LL COME BACK!

Spinning Rods - Which to buy? I have spent the last 20 using nothing but fly rods, so the last time I actually used a spinning setup, I really didn't pay all that much attention to the rod types. I would like to get back into using spinning equipment from time to time. I'd like to get two rods, which would be mostly used for river fishing for trout bass and bluegill, but also the occasional lake trip. So, if you were going out to purchase two rods for the above mentioned fishing, which length and action would you choose for each? I appreciate any and all recommendations. Thanks!!!!

Hi!Funny or no? 24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator... 1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!" 2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. 3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" 4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. 5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. 7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom. 9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" 10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, damn motion sickness!" 11. Meow occasionally. 12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. 13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. 15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it. 16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?" 17. Say "Ding!" at each floor. 18. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. 19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. 20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space." 21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers. 24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on. People Really Said These Things In Court Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to? A: Oral. Q: How old is your son - the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. Q: Sir, what is your IQ? A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think. Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo. Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he? Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war? Q: Did he kill you? Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision? Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true? Q: How many times have you committed suicide? Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? Q: Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you? A: I went to Europe, sir. Q: And you took your new wife? Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. The Blonde & The Coke Machine It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke. She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in. And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her. Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!" And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!" Poor Old Man This old man goes to the doctor's. "Help, Doc. I just got married to this 21 year old woman. She is hot and all she wants to do is have sex all day long." "So what's the problem?" "I can't remember where I live." Blonde in a Car A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ''I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?'' ''Why sure,'' said the manager, ''we have something that works especially well for that.'' A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. ''No, no! A little to the left,'' said the other blonde inside the car. Daughter's Prayer A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Dear, would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," replied the little girl, shyly. "Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie," the woman said. Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said, "Dear Lord, why the hell did I invite all these people to dinner!?!" Your Family Is So Poor Your family is so poor, when I went to your house I stepped on a cigarette and your Daddy shouted, “Hey, who turned off the heater!” Tooth Pulling A man and his wife entered a dentist's office. The wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible." "You're a brave woman," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is." The wife turns to her husband and says: "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear." Grass Eater A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man. "I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "Oh, please come to my house!" "But sir, I have a wife and four children..." "Bring them along!" the rich man said. They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in." The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!" You''re So Ugly You''re so ugly, when yo'' mama dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering! Pinocchio and Splinters One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem. "Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?" "Have you tried sandpaper?" Pinocchio hadn't, so he went to try it. "Pinnochio," said Gepetto a few weeks later. "How is the problem work out with your "Girlfriend?" said Pinnochio. "Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?" Clinton, Bush, and Washington... Bill Clinton, George Bush and George Washington were on the Titanic. As the boat was sinking, George Washington heroically shouts, ''Save the women!'' George Bush hysterically screeches, ''Screw the women!'' And Bill Clinton's eyes light up and he says, ''Do we have time?'' Not Going To Try This Again A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse''s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse''s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse''s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse. Mini Meanie The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil leprechaun who exploited the ambitions of the poorer players. He popped up beside one unfortunate man who was participating in a club competition. "Look," he said, "if you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry, I'll help you win." "Done," shouted the young golfer. The leprechaun was very pleased with conniving ways, and chuckled merrily. When the golfer was in the clubhouse being praised by the other members, the leprechaun popped up on the shelf of the locker. "Hey," said the little elf, "I have to have your name for my records. What is it?" "Father Murphy," grinned the golfer as he adjusted his Roman collar. Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics is." Father: "Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?" Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it." That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep. The next morning he reported to his father. Son: "Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is." Father: "Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?" Son: "Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of Shit." The Deacon and the Preacher There once was this deacon and this preacher, and they had been friends for a long time. One day the deacon got sick and was put in the hospital, so the preacher decided to go and see his old friend. When he walked into the hospital room, the preacher noticed all the hoses and medical equipment attached to the deacon. The preacher walked over and kneeled by the bed and asked, ''How ya doing?'' The deacon motioned at a pad and pen on the nightstand. ''You want that?'' the preacher asked him, and the deacon nodded his head yes. So the preacher handed his friend the pad and pen and the deacon began to write. All of a sudden the deacon died. At his funeral, the preacher was asked to deliver the service. ''He was a good man and I'll never forget him,'' the preacher said, ''I was with him when he died and as a matter of fact I have his last thought in my coat pocket here.'' The preacher reaches into his pocket and pulls out the paper. ''Please, get up! You're kneeling on my oxygen hose!'' Too Smart A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!" Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9". Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36". And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade." Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Harry both agreed. Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?" Harry, after a moment: "Legs." Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered, why would she ask such a question! Harry replied: "Pockets." Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Harry: "Pants" Ms. Brooks: What's starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid? Harry: "Coconut." The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open. Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer. Harry: "Bubble gum" Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" Harry: "Shake hands." The principal was trembling. Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?" Harry: "Firetruck" The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...... A priest, Jesus, and an old man tee off. The priest drives the green within 5 yards of the hole. Jesus slices the ball and it goes into the water hazard. He quickly runs across the water and hits his second onto the green 2 inches from the hole. The old man tees off with a short worm burner that trickles into the hazard. Soon after a fish eats the ball and swims across the pond with it in its mouth. Just then an eagle swoops down and snatches the fish with the golf ball and flies off. The eagle loses its grip and drops the fish on the green. The fish then spits out the ball and it rolls into the hole for a hole in one. Jesus turns to the old man and replies, "Play fair dad!" Yesterday I was at the local Wal-Mart. Now I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there he was - a damn Motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket ... So, I went to him and said: "Come on Buddy, how about giving a guy a break?" He simply ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So, I called him a pencil necked Nazi. He then glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires! So, I called him a sorry excuse for a human being. He then finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started to write a third ticket! This went on for about 25 minutes ... the more I abused and hurled insults at him, the more tickets he wrote ... But hey, I didn't give a damn. My car was parked around the corner ... A blonde girl comes rushing home to her mum and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only count to 3 but I can count to 5. Look - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Does that mean I am special mummy?" "Yes dear it does." The next day the blonde girl comes running in again and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only say the alphabet from A to C but I can go until E. Look - A, B, C, D, E. Does that mean I am special mummy?" "Yes dear it does." The next day the blonde girl comes rushing home and says "Mummy mummy! Today at school we were getting changed for physical excercises and all the other girls had really flat chests but I had these ...!" She opens her blouse and reveals a humungous pair of DD breasts. "Is it because I am special mummy?" "No dear it's because you are 25." A blonde desperately needed some money, so she decided to kidnap someone. So she went to the park and she grabbed this kid. Then she wrote a note saying, "If you ever want to see your child again, leave 10,000 dollars in a paper bag in the northwest corner of the park." then she signed it 'THE BLONDE' and told the kid to give it to his mom. The next day she went to the northwest corner of the park and got the paper bag. It had the money in it and a note from the mother that said, "How could you do this to another blonde?" Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said "These look like deer tracks." and the other one said: "No they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them. I knew a blonde that was so stupid that....... * she called me to get my phone number. * she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate." * she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. *she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. *she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. *she tried to drown a fish. *she thought a quarterback was a refund. *she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death. *she tripped over a cordless phone. *she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. *she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. *she studied for a blood test. *she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. *when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. *when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead. *when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home ~~~~ Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years" Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button. When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C". Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125. After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms. A Blonde's Year in Review January: Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February: Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...Helllloooo!!!... bottles won't fit in typewriter!!! March: Got really excited - finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months... Box said "2-4 years!" April: Trapped on escalator for hours... power went out!!! May: Tried to make Kool-Aid... wrong instructions... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June: Tried to go water skiing... couldn't find a lake with a slope. July: Lost breast stroke swimming competition... Learned later the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms! August: Got locked out of my car in rain storm... Car swamped because soft-top was o pen. September: The capital of California is "C"... isn't it? October: I hate M &M's... They are so hard to peel. November: Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days... Instructions said one hour per pound and I weigh 108!!! December: Couldn't call 911... "duh" ... there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone! Star if u like them!!!!

did you know..? 1. Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) was born on and died on days when Halley's Comet can be seen. During his life he predicted that he would die when it could be seen. 2. US Dollar bills are made out of cotton and linen. 3. The "57" on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of pickle types the company once had. 4. Americans are responsible for about 1/5 of the world's garbage annually. On average, that's 3 pounds a day per person. 5. Giraffes and rats can last longer without water than camels. 6. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks so that it doesn't digest itself. 7. 98% of all murders and rapes are by a close family member or friend of the victim. 8. A B-25 bomber crashed into the 79th floor of the Empire State Building on July 28, 1945. 9. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper. 10. The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle. 11. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top. 12. Benjamin Franklin was the fifth in a series of the youngest son of the youngest son. 13. Triskaidekaphobia means fear of the number 13. Paraskevidekatriaphobia means fear of Friday the 13th (which occurs one to three times a year). In Italy, 17 is considered an unlucky number. In Japan, 4 is considered an unlucky number. 14. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate. 15. All the chemicals in a human body combined are worth about 6.25 euro (if sold separately). 16. In ancient Rome, when a man testified in court he would swear on his testicles. 17. The ZIP in "ZIP code" means Zoning Improvement Plan. 18. Coca-Cola contained Coca (whose active ingredient is cocaine) from 1885 to 1903. 19. A "2 by 4" is really 1 1/2 by 3 1/2. 20. It's estimated that at any one time around 0.7% of the world's population is drunk. 21. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades = David ; Clubs = Alexander the Great ; Hearts = Charlemagne ; Diamonds = Caesar 22. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals. 23. Every person, including identical twins, has a unique eye and tongue print along with their finger print. 24. The "spot" on the 7-Up logo comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was an albino. 25. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 dictionary were misspelled. 26. The "save" icon in Microsoft Office programs shows a floppy disk with the shutter on backwards. 27. Albert Einstein and Charles Darwin both married their first cousins (Elsa Löwenthal and Emma Wedgewood respectively). 28. Camel's have three eyelids. 29. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents every day. 30. John Wilkes Booth's brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln's son. 31. Warren Beatty and Shirley McLaine are brother and sister. 32. Chocolate can kill dogs; it directly affects their heart and nervous system. 33. Daniel Boone hated coonskin caps. 34. Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If captured, they could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape. 35. 55.1% of all US prisoners are in prison for drug offenses. 36. Most lipstick contains fish scales. 37. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode. 38. Dr. Seuss pronounced his name "soyce". 39. Slugs have four noses. 40. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine. 41. The Three Wise Monkeys have names: Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru (Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Speak no evil). 42. India has a Bill of Rights for cows. 43. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out. (DON'T TRY IT, DUMBASS) 44. During the California gold rush of 1849, miners sent their laundry to Honolulu for washing and pressing. Due to the extremely high costs in California during these boom years, it was deemed more feasible to send their shirts to Hawaii for servicing. 45. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by taking out an olive from First Class salads. 46. About 200,000,000 M&Ms are sold each day in the United States. 47. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood. 48. Over a course of about eleven years, the sun's magnetic poles switch places. This cycle is called "Solarmax". 49. There are 318,979,564,000 possible combinations of the first four moves in Chess. 50. Upper and lower case letters are named "upper" and "lower" because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the upper case letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the lower case letters. 51. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos. 52. The numbers "172" can be found on the back of the US 5 dollar bill, in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial. 53. Coconuts kill about 150 people each year. That's more than sharks. 54. Half of all bank robberies take place on a Friday. 55. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan. There was never a recorded Wendy before it. 56. The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672. 57. The first bomb the Allies dropped on Berlin in WWII killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo. 58. The average raindrop falls at 7 miles per hour. 59. It took Leonardo Da Vinci 10 years to paint Mona Lisa. He never signed or dated the painting. Leonardo and Mona had identical bone structures according to the painting. X-ray images have shown that there are 3 other versions under the original. 60. If you put a drop of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death. 61. Bruce Lee was so fast that they had to slow the film down so you could see his moves. 62. The largest amount of money you can have without having change for a dollar is $1.19 (3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies cannot be divided into a dollar). 63. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA". 64. IBM's motto is "Think". Apple later made their motto "Think different". 65. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white, due to low budget. 66. The original name for butterfly was flutterby. 67. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb. 68. One in fourteen women in America is a natural blonde. Only one in sixteen men is. 69. The Olympic was the sister ship of the Titanic, and she provided twenty-five years of service. 70. When the Titanic sank, 2228 people were on it. Only 706 survived. 71. In America, someone is diagnosed with AIDS every 10 minutes. In South Africa, someone dies due to HIV or AIDS every 10 minutes. 72. Every day, 7% of the US eats at McDonald's. 73. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, which Motorola got their name from. 74. In the US, about 127 million adults are overweight or obese; worldwide, 750 million are overweight and 300 million more are obese. In the US, 15% of children in elementary school are overweight; 20% are worldwide. 75. In Disney's Fantasia, the Sorcerer to whom Mickey played an apprentice was named Yensid (Disney spelled backward). 76. During his entire life, Vincent Van Gogh sold exactly one painting, "Red Vineyard at Arles". 77. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand. 78. One in ten people live on an island. 79. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. 80. 28% of Africa is classified as wilderness. In North America, its 38%. 81. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest. 82. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying. 83. Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson", Humphrey Bogart NEVER said "Play it again, Sam" in Casablanca, and they NEVER said "Beam me up, Scotty" on Star Trek. 84. An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps backwards while dancing. 85. Sharon Stone was the first Star Search spokes model. 86. The sound you here when you put a seashell next to your ear is not the ocean, but blood flowing through your head. 87. More people are afraid of open spaces (kenophobia) than of tight spaces (claustrophobia). 88. The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher. 89. There is a 1 in 4 chance that New York will have a white Christmas. 90. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries. 91. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married. 92. Back in the mid to late '80s, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered 100% compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator. 93. $203,000,000 is spent on barbed wire each year in the U.S. 94. Every US president has worn glasses (just not always in public). 95. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave. 96. Jim Henson first coined the word "Muppet". It is a combination of "marionette" and "puppet." 97. The names of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with (not counting the words "North" and "South). 98. The Michelin man is known as Mr. Bib. His name was Bibendum in the company's first ads in 1896. 99. About 20% of bird species have become extinct in the past 200 years, almost all of them because of human activity. 100. The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want. 101. About 14% of injecting drug users are HIV positive. 102. A word or sentence that is the same front and back (racecar, kayak) is called a "palindrome". 103. A snail can sleep for 3 years. 104. People photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide. 105. China has more English speakers than the United States. 106. Finnish folklore says that when Santa comes to Finland to deliver gifts, he leaves his sleigh behind and rides on a goat named Ukko instead. According to French tradition, Santa Claus has a brother named Bells Nichols, who visits homes on New Year's Eve after everyone is asleep, and if a plate is set out for him, he fills it with cookies and cakes. 107. One in every 9000 people is an albino. 108. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. 109. You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world. 110. Everyday, more money is printed for Monopoly sets than for the U.S. Treasury. 111. Every year 4 people in the UK die putting their trousers on. 112. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds; dogs only have about ten. 113. Our eyes are always the same size from birth but our nose and ears never stop growing. 114. In every episode of "Seinfeld" there is a Superman picture or reference somewhere. 115. If Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's neck. 116. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants. 117. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times. 118. Each year in America there are about 300,000 deaths that can be attributed to obesity. 119. About 55% of all movies are rated R. 120. About 500 movies are made in the US and 800 in India annually. 121. Arabic numerals are not really Arabic; they were created in India. 122. Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations (implemented on July 16, 1969) makes it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles. 123. The February of 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. 124. The Pentagon in Arlington Virginia has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites. 125. There is actually no danger in swimming right after you eat, though it may feel uncomfortable. 126. The cruise liner Queen Elizabeth II moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns. 127. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call. 128. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. 129. There are about 2 chickens for every human in the world. 130. The word "maverick" came into use after Samuel Maverick, a Texan refused to brand his cattle. Eventually any unbranded calf became known as a Maverick. 131. Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey. 132. For every memorial statue with a person on a horse, if the horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died of battle wounds; if all four of the horse's legs are on the ground, the person died of natural causes. 133. On a Canadian two-dollar bill, the American flag is flying over the Parliament Building. 134. An American urologist bought Napoleon's penis for $40,000. 135. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple. 136. Dreamt is the only English word that ends in the letters "MT". 137. $283,200 is the absolute highest amount of money you can win on Jeopardy. 138. Almonds are members of the peach family. 139. Rats and horses can't vomit. 140. The penguin is the only bird that can't fly but can swim. 141. There are approximately 100 million acts of sexual intercourse each day. 142. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies room during a dance. 143. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable. 144. There are only four words in the English language that end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. 145. Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day. 146. Every time you lick a stamp you consume 1/10 of a calorie. 147. "101 Dalmatians" and "Peter Pan" are the only Disney animations in which both of a character's parents are present and don't die during the movie. 148. You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider. 149. Hedenophobic means fear of pleasure. 150. Ancient Egyptian priests would pluck every hair from their bodies. 151. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. 152. Half of all crimes are committed by people under the age of 18. 80% of burglaries are committed by people aged 13-21. 153. An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. 154. All polar bears are left-handed. 155. The catfish has over 27000 taste buds (more than any other animal) 156. A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. 157. Butterflies taste with their feet. 158. Elephants are the only mammals that cannot jump. 159. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. 160. Starfish have no brains. 161. 11% of the world is left-handed. 162. John Hancock and Charles Thomson were the only people to sign the Declaration of independence on July 4th, 1776. The last signature came five years later. 163. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. 164. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. 165. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. 166. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. 167. A healthy (non-colorblind) human eye can distinguish between 500 shades of gray. 168. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit. 169. Lizards can self-amputate their tails for protection. It grows back after a few months. 170. Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula". It can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: L.A. 171. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. 172. A honeybee can fly at fifteen miles per hour. 173. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur. 174. A "jiffy" is the scientific name for 1/100th of a second. 175. The average child recognizes over 200 company logos by the time he enters first grade. 176. The youngest pope ever was 11 years old. 177. The first novel ever written on a typewriter is Tom Sawyer. 178. One out of every 43 prisoners escapes from jail. 94% are recaptured. 179. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. 180. The average chocolate bar has 8 insects' legs melted into it. 181. A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair. 182. The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes. 183. Elwood Edwards did the voice for the AOL sound files (i.e. "You've got Mail!"). He is heard about 27 million times a day. The recordings were done before Quantum changed its name to AOL and the program was known as "Q-Link." 184. A polar bears skin is black. Its fur is actually clear, but like snow it appears white. 185. Elvis had a twin brother named Garon, who died at birth, which is why Elvis middle name was spelled Aron, in honor of his brother. 186. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors. 187. Donkeys kill more people than plane crashes. 188. Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump." 189. There are a million ants for every person on Earth. 190. If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white. 191. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. 192. The name Jeep comes from "GP", the army abbreviation for General Purpose. 193. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do. 194. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States. 195. Cats' urine glows under a black light. 196. A "quidnunc" is a person who is eager to know the latest news and gossip. 197. The first US Patent was for manufacturing potassium carbonate (used in glass and gunpowder). It was issued to Samuel Hopkins on July 31, 1970. 198. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors, the helicopter, and many other present day items. 199. In the last 4000 years no new animals have been domesticated. 200. 25% of a human's bones are in its feet. 201. David Sarnoff received the Titanic's distress signal and saved hundreds of passengers. He later became the head of the first radio network, the National Broadcasting Company (NBC). 202. On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year. 203. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than every Nike factory worker in Malaysia combined. 204. One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the '30s lobbied against hemp farmers (they saw it as competition). 205. "Canada" is an Indian word meaning "Big Village". 206. Only one in two billion people will live to be 116 or older. 207. If you yelled for 8 years 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. 208. Rape is reported every six minutes in the U.S. 209. The human heart creates enough pressure in the bloodstream to squirt blood 30 feet. 210. A jellyfish is 95% water. 211. Truck driving is the most dangerous occupation by accidental deaths (799 in 2001). 212. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. 213. Elephants only sleep for two hours each day. 214. On average people fear spiders more than they do death. 215. The strongest muscle in the human body is the tongue. (the heart is not a muscle) 216. In golf, a 'Bo Derek' is a score of 10. 217. In the U.S, Frisbees outsell footballs, baseballs and basketballs combined. 218. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on a watch is 10:10. 219. If you plant an apple seed, it is almost guaranteed to grow a tree of a different type of apple. 220. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer. 221. The only real person to be a PEZ head was Betsy Ross. 222. There are about 450 types of cheese in the world. 240 come from France. 223. When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers plays football at home the stadium becomes Nebraska's third largest city. 224. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life". 225. A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours. 226. In Iceland, a Big Mac costs $5.50. 227. Broccoli and cauliflower are the only vegetables that are flowers. 228. Newborn babies have about 350 bones. They gradually merge and disappear until there are about 206 by age 5. 229. There is no solid proof of who built the Taj Mahal. 230. In a survey of 200000 ostriches over 80 years, not one tried to bury its head in the sand. 231. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. A quarter has 119. 232. On an American one-dollar bill there is a tiny owl in the upper-left-hand corner of the upper-right-hand "1" and a spider hidden in the front upper-right-hand corner. 233. Judy Scheindlin ("Judge Judy") has a $25,000,000 salary, while Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg has a $190,100 salary. 234. The name for Oz in the Wizard of Oz was thought up when the creator Frank Baum looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N and O-Z. 235. Andorra, a tiny country on the border between France and Spain, has the longest average lifespan: 83.49 years. 236. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. 237. Mr. Rogers was an ordained Presbyterian minister. 238. In America you will see an average of 500 advertisements a day. 239. John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles. 240. You can lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs. 241. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes. 242. "The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in English. 243. There are 336 dimples on a regulation US golf ball. In the UK its 330. 244. The Toltecs (a 7th century tribe) used wooden swords so they wouldn't kill their enemies. 245. "Duff" is the decaying organic matter found on a forest floor. 246. The US has more personal computers than the next 7 countries combined. 247. There have been over 600 lawsuits against Alexander Grahm Bell over rights to the patent of the telephone, the most valuable patent in U.S. history. 248. Kuwait is about 60% male (highest in the world). Latvia is about 54% female (highest in the world). 249. The Hawaiian alphabet has only 12 letters. 250. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined. 251. At the height of its power in 400 BC, the Greek city of Sparta had 25,000 citizens and 500,000 slaves. 252. Julius Caesar's autograph is worth about $2,000,000. 253. The tool doctors wrap around a patient's arm to measure blood pressure is called a sphygmomanometer. 254. People say "bless you" when you sneeze because your heart stops for a millisecond. 255. US gold coins used to say "In Gold We Trust". 256. In "Silence of the Lambs", Hannibal Lector (Anthony Hopkins) never blinks. 257. A shrimp's heart is in its head. 258. In the 17th century, the value of pi was known to 35 decimal places. Today, to 1.2411 trillion. 259. The bestselling books of all time are The Bible (6billion+), Quotations from the Works of Mao Tse-tung (900million+), and The Lord of the Rings (100million+) 260. Pearls melt in vinegar. 261. "Lassie" was played by a group of male dogs; the main one was named Pal. 262. In 1863, Paul Hubert of Bordeaux, France, was sentenced to life in jail for murder. After 21 years, it was discovered that he was convicted of murdering himself. 263. Nepal is the only country that doesn't have a rectangular flag. Switzerland is the only country with a square flag. 264. Gabriel, Michael, and Lucifer are the only angels named in the Bible. 265. Tiger Woods' real first name is Eldrick. His father gave him the nickname "Tiger" in honor of a South Vietnamese soldier his father had fought alongside with during the Vietnam War. 266. Johnny Appleseed planted apples so that people could use apple cider to make alcohol. 267. Abraham Lincoln's ghost is said to haunt the White House. 268. God is not mentioned once in the book of Esther. 269. The odds of being born male are about 51.2%, according to census. 270. Scotland has more redheads than any other part of the world. 271. There is an average of 61,000 people airborne over the US at any given moment. 272. Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same airplane in case there is a crash. 273. The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad. The most common name (of any type) in the world is Mohammed. 274. The surface of the Earth is about 60% water and 10% ice. 275. For every 230 cars that are made, 1 will be stolen. 276. Jimmy Carter was the first U.S. President to be born in a hospital. 277. Lightning strikes the earth about 8 million times a day. 278. Around 2,000 left-handed people die annually due to improper use of equipment designed only for right handed people. 279. The "if" and "then" parts of conditional ("if P then Q") statement are called the protasis (P) and apodosis (Q). 280. Humans use a total of 72 different muscles in speech. 281. If you feed a seagull Alka-Seltzer, its stomach will explode. 282. Only female mosquitoes bite. 283. The U.S. Post Office handles 43 percent of the world's mail. 284. Most household dust is made of dead skin cells. 285. One in about eight million people has progeria, a disease that causes people to grow faster than they age. 286. The male seahorse carries the eggs until they hatch instead of the female. 287. The "countdown" (counting down from 10 for an event such as New-Years Day) was first used in a 1929 German silent film called "Die Frau Im Monde" (The Girl in the Moon). 288. Negative emotions such as anxiety and depression can weaken your immune system. 289. There are seven suicides in the Bible: Abimelech. Samson, Saul, Saul's armor-bearer, Ahithophel, Zimri, Judas. 290. A mongoose is not a goose but more like a meercat, which is not a cat but more like a prairie dog, which is not a dog but more like a ground squirrel. 291. Stephen Hawking was born exactly 300 years after Galileo died. 292. Mercury is the only planet whose orbit is coplanar with its equator. Venus and Uranus are the only planets that rotate opposite to the direction of their orbit. 293. John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and James Monroe died on July 4th. Adams and Jefferson died in the same year. Supposedly, Adams last words were "Thomas Jefferson survives." 294. The Baby Ruth candy bar was named after Grover Cleveland's baby daughter, Ruth, not Babe Ruth the baseball player. 295. Dolphins can look in different directions with each eye. They can sleep with one eye open. 296. The Falkland Isles (pop. about 2000) has over 700000 sheep (350 per person). 297. There are 41,806 different spoken languages in the world today. 298. While many treaties have been signed at or near Paris, France (including many after WWI and WWII), nine are actually known as the "Treaty of Paris": Seven Years' War (1763), American Revolutionary War (1783), French-Swede War (1810), France vs Sixth Coalition (1814), Battle of Waterloo (1815), Crimean War (1856), Spanish-American War (1898), union of Bessarabia and Romania (1920), establishment of European Coal and Steel Community (1951). 299. Robert Todd Lincoln (Abraham Lincoln's oldest son) was in Washington DC during his father's assassination as well as during President Garfield's assassination, and he was in Buffalo NY when President McKinley was assassinated. 300. The city of Venice stands on about 120 small islands. 301. The past-tense of the English word "dare" is "durst". 302. Don Mac Lean's song "American Pie" was written about Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and J.P. Richardson (The Big Bopper), who all died in the same plane crash. 303. The drummer for ZZ Top (the only one without a beard) is named Frank Beard. 304. Hummingbirds can't walk. 305. When movie directors do not want their names to be seen in the credits, they use the pseudonym "Allen Smithee" instead. It has been used over 50 times, starting with "Death of a Gunfighter" (1969). 306. Four different people played the part of Darth Vader (body, face, voice, and breathing). 307. Pamela Lee-Anderson was the first to be born in Canada on the centennial anniversary of Canada's independence (7/1/1967). 308. There is about 200 times more gold in the oceans than has been mined throughout history. 309. William Shatner is credited for being the first person on TV to say "hell" as well as to have the first inter-racial kiss (with Nichelle Nichols), both in episodes of Star Trek. 310. While the US government's supply of gold is kept at Fort Knox, its supply of silver is kept at the Military Academy at West Point, NY. 311. Alexander Graham Bell's wife and mother were both deaf. 312. Compact discs read from the inside to the outside edge, the reverse of how a record works. 313. In the ancient Greek city-state of Sparta, if a man was not married by age 30, he would not be allowed to vote or watch athletic events involving nude young men. 314. Attila the Hun (invader of Europe; 406-453), Felix Faure (French President; 1841-1899), Pope Leo VII (936-939), Pope John VII (955-964), Pope Leo VIII (963-965), Pope John XIII (965-72), Pope Paul II (1467-1471), Lord Palmerston (British Prime Minister, 1784-1865), Nelson Rockefeller (US Vice President, 1908-1979), and John Entwistle (The Who's bassist, 1944-2002) all died while having sex. 315. Humans and dolphins are the only animals known to have sex for pleasure. 316. Pac-Man, Namco's 1979 arcade game, was originally called "Puck Man". The name was changed when they realized that vandals could easily scratch out part of the letter "P". 317. Shakespeare and Cervantes died on the same day, April 23, 1616. 318. There are about 7.7 million millionaires in the world (more than 1/1000th of the population). 319. The youngest mother on record was a Peruvian girl named Lina Medina. She gave birth to a boy by caesarean section on May 14, 1939 (which happened to be Mother's Day), at the age of five years, seven months and 21 days. 320. The "middle finger" gesture originates back to 423 BC in Aristophanes play "The Clouds".

u wanna known something? 1. Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) was born on and died on days when Halley's Comet can be seen. During his life he predicted that he would die when it could be seen. 2. US Dollar bills are made out of cotton and linen. 3. The "57" on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of pickle types the company once had. 4. Americans are responsible for about 1/5 of the world's garbage annually. On average, that's 3 pounds a day per person. 5. Giraffes and rats can last longer without water than camels. 6. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks so that it doesn't digest itself. 7. 98% of all murders and rapes are by a close family member or friend of the victim. 8. A B-25 bomber crashed into the 79th floor of the Empire State Building on July 28, 1945. 9. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper. 10. The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle. 11. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top. 12. Benjamin Franklin was the fifth in a series of the youngest son of the youngest son. 13. Triskaidekaphobia means fear of the number 13. Paraskevidekatriaphobia means fear of Friday the 13th (which occurs one to three times a year). In Italy, 17 is considered an unlucky number. In Japan, 4 is considered an unlucky number. 14. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate. 15. All the chemicals in a human body combined are worth about 6.25 euro (if sold separately). 16. In ancient Rome, when a man testified in court he would swear on his testicles. 17. The ZIP in "ZIP code" means Zoning Improvement Plan. 18. Coca-Cola contained Coca (whose active ingredient is cocaine) from 1885 to 1903. 19. A "2 by 4" is really 1 1/2 by 3 1/2. 20. It's estimated that at any one time around 0.7% of the world's population is drunk. 21. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades = David ; Clubs = Alexander the Great ; Hearts = Charlemagne ; Diamonds = Caesar 22. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals. 23. Every person, including identical twins, has a unique eye and tongue print along with their finger print. 24. The "spot" on the 7-Up logo comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was an albino. 25. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 dictionary were misspelled. 26. The "save" icon in Microsoft Office programs shows a floppy disk with the shutter on backwards. 27. Albert Einstein and Charles Darwin both married their first cousins (Elsa Löwenthal and Emma Wedgewood respectively). 28. Camel's have three eyelids. 29. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents every day. 30. John Wilkes Booth's brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln's son. 31. Warren Beatty and Shirley McLaine are brother and sister. 32. Chocolate can kill dogs; it directly affects their heart and nervous system. 33. Daniel Boone hated coonskin caps. 34. Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If captured, they could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape. 35. 55.1% of all US prisoners are in prison for drug offenses. 36. Most lipstick contains fish scales. 37. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode. 38. Dr. Seuss pronounced his name "soyce". 39. Slugs have four noses. 40. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine. 41. The Three Wise Monkeys have names: Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru (Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Speak no evil). 42. India has a Bill of Rights for cows. 43. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out. (DON'T TRY IT, DUMBASS) 44. During the California gold rush of 1849, miners sent their laundry to Honolulu for washing and pressing. Due to the extremely high costs in California during these boom years, it was deemed more feasible to send their shirts to Hawaii for servicing. 45. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by taking out an olive from First Class salads. 46. About 200,000,000 M&Ms are sold each day in the United States. 47. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood. 48. Over a course of about eleven years, the sun's magnetic poles switch places. This cycle is called "Solarmax". 49. There are 318,979,564,000 possible combinations of the first four moves in Chess. 50. Upper and lower case letters are named "upper" and "lower" because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the upper case letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the lower case letters. 51. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos. 52. The numbers "172" can be found on the back of the US 5 dollar bill, in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial. 53. Coconuts kill about 150 people each year. That's more than sharks. 54. Half of all bank robberies take place on a Friday. 55. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan. There was never a recorded Wendy before it. 56. The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672. 57. The first bomb the Allies dropped on Berlin in WWII killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo. 58. The average raindrop falls at 7 miles per hour. 59. It took Leonardo Da Vinci 10 years to paint Mona Lisa. He never signed or dated the painting. Leonardo and Mona had identical bone structures according to the painting. X-ray images have shown that there are 3 other versions under the original. 60. If you put a drop of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death. 61. Bruce Lee was so fast that they had to slow the film down so you could see his moves. 62. The largest amount of money you can have without having change for a dollar is $1.19 (3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies cannot be divided into a dollar). 63. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA". 64. IBM's motto is "Think". Apple later made their motto "Think different". 65. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white, due to low budget. 66. The original name for butterfly was flutterby. 67. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb. 68. One in fourteen women in America is a natural blonde. Only one in sixteen men is. 69. The Olympic was the sister ship of the Titanic, and she provided twenty-five years of service. 70. When the Titanic sank, 2228 people were on it. Only 706 survived. 71. In America, someone is diagnosed with AIDS every 10 minutes. In South Africa, someone dies due to HIV or AIDS every 10 minutes. 72. Every day, 7% of the US eats at McDonald's. 73. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, which Motorola got their name from. 74. In the US, about 127 million adults are overweight or obese; worldwide, 750 million are overweight and 300 million more are obese. In the US, 15% of children in elementary school are overweight; 20% are worldwide. 75. In Disney's Fantasia, the Sorcerer to whom Mickey played an apprentice was named Yensid (Disney spelled backward). 76. During his entire life, Vincent Van Gogh sold exactly one painting, "Red Vineyard at Arles". 77. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand. 78. One in ten people live on an island. 79. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. 80. 28% of Africa is classified as wilderness. In North America, its 38%. 81. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest. 82. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying. 83. Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson", Humphrey Bogart NEVER said "Play it again, Sam" in Casablanca, and they NEVER said "Beam me up, Scotty" on Star Trek. 84. An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps backwards while dancing. 85. Sharon Stone was the first Star Search spokes model. 86. The sound you here when you put a seashell next to your ear is not the ocean, but blood flowing through your head. 87. More people are afraid of open spaces (kenophobia) than of tight spaces (claustrophobia). 88. The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher. 89. There is a 1 in 4 chance that New York will have a white Christmas. 90. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries. 91. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married. 92. Back in the mid to late '80s, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered 100% compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator. 93. $203,000,000 is spent on barbed wire each year in the U.S. 94. Every US president has worn glasses (just not always in public). 95. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave. 96. Jim Henson first coined the word "Muppet". It is a combination of "marionette" and "puppet." 97. The names of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with (not counting the words "North" and "South). 98. The Michelin man is known as Mr. Bib. His name was Bibendum in the company's first ads in 1896. 99. About 20% of bird species have become extinct in the past 200 years, almost all of them because of human activity. 100. The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want. 101. About 14% of injecting drug users are HIV positive. 102. A word or sentence that is the same front and back (racecar, kayak) is called a "palindrome". 103. A snail can sleep for 3 years. 104. People photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide. 105. China has more English speakers than the United States. 106. Finnish folklore says that when Santa comes to Finland to deliver gifts, he leaves his sleigh behind and rides on a goat named Ukko instead. According to French tradition, Santa Claus has a brother named Bells Nichols, who visits homes on New Year's Eve after everyone is asleep, and if a plate is set out for him, he fills it with cookies and cakes. 107. One in every 9000 people is an albino. 108. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. 109. You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world. 110. Everyday, more money is printed for Monopoly sets than for the U.S. Treasury. 111. Every year 4 people in the UK die putting their trousers on. 112. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds; dogs only have about ten. 113. Our eyes are always the same size from birth but our nose and ears never stop growing. 114. In every episode of "Seinfeld" there is a Superman picture or reference somewhere. 115. If Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's neck. 116. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants. 117. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times. 118. Each year in America there are about 300,000 deaths that can be attributed to obesity. 119. About 55% of all movies are rated R. 120. About 500 movies are made in the US and 800 in India annually. 121. Arabic numerals are not really Arabic; they were created in India. 122. Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations (implemented on July 16, 1969) makes it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles. 123. The February of 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. 124. The Pentagon in Arlington Virginia has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites. 125. There is actually no danger in swimming right after you eat, though it may feel uncomfortable. 126. The cruise liner Queen Elizabeth II moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns. 127. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.